Porn Star Librarians

My dad found these in a pile of my attic junk and proclaimed, "Katie! Those are masturbation balls!" I received them as a prize during a three-legged race at a picnic full of aging librarians and was doubtful. And so, we Googled. Alas, he was wrong. Turns out they're not Ben Wa balls, but actually Baoding balls (also dubbed "healthy balls" heeheeheehee) : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baoding_Balls
Too bad I was not brought into this world by the infamous porn star librarian.

Junior Hipster Olympics Champion

Surprising? Yes and no, I'd say. I mean I am going to American Apparel tomorrow... and my music taste might be along a hipster-esque vein. At the time, visors and ironic t-shirts were very uncool (at least in my elementary school world). But they were forced upon me and so I rocked them as much as I could.








My music taste, however, was very mainstream. I used to rollerskate up and down the hallway of my ranch style house to the likes of No Doubt's "Spiderwebs" and Mariah's "Fantasy".

Some of the better tunes I jammed to included this lovely Boney M. track :)

Kid Cake

This was actually made by me, not a child. Although the fondant truly took on a playdough-like quality. It's my threadcakes entry! And it's a little dark. The original design showed water and sunlight making a tree green (cause blue and yellow make greeeeen). So, I thought if you added love (red), it would make sort of a dead tree or at least a tree sans chlorophyll.

Tada! And here's the link to my submission: http://www.threadcakes.com/entries/view/191

Baby Boyfriend

No, I'm not a pedophile. It's Sean when he was a kid! What's better than that?

Here's a very baby version of Sean Murphy. That's his worried face. It's a rarity, but I swear
he holds an identical expression at nearly 20.

I too enjoyed Barney although I think this is too close to the true nature of whoever was inhabiting that dinosaur suit. Sitting on the laps of naked boys is a likely pastime of someone in such a profession.

This ensemble screams future New Paltz student. And awwwwwww!

And the cutest kid in the world award goes to... I think it's funny how Sean looks like the poster child for the white race here. Too bad he's chocolate cake, vanilla frosting.

I could look at kid pictures of my boo forever. He was such a cutie :) And, of course, he still is.

Proof That The Tooth Fairy Isn't Real

Remember these? Losing a tooth meant going to the school nurse and getting one of these necklaces to hold your tooth till you could redeem it with the tooth fairy for a dollar. All very magical.

Finding these would have made me happy except... that there were teeth inside. Ew.

It's also proof that the tooth fairy is not real *tear* My mom saved everything, including baby teeth and swatches of my hair :/ Nothing like a TMI in buried treasure. Luckily, all of these items have found their home in the garbage bin.

Kid Gold

While digging, I found my Pokemon cards! There were a bunch cause as a kid I "caught em all". (lucky me, eh?) Most of these were passed down to my cousin Liam, but I kept all the ones that I thought could be worth something. Of course, my Charizard was one of these. When I was a kid they sold for about 100 bucks. Sadly, they seem to go for about 5 bucks now :/


But I did not buy this once-rare card. I actually found it in a pack of cards (!) at the Maybrook flea market (!!!!!!) when I was 10. That was one of the best days of my child life. Too bad there's no more Maybrook flea market. Most of the vendors moved to the Dutchess Mall and the old market lot was turned into an elderly living facility :p Oh, the demise of my youth!

Sounds of Summer: 2000

I found this relic whilst cleaning. Yes, I used to buy this radio edit shit when I was a littler kiddie. But surprisingly enough, I found a handfull of pretty good tracks on this. One of these rare good tracks from the year 2000 is Nelly's "Hot in Herre". I feel like I was just talking to someone about this. Perhaps it was Kari. Anyway, here it is :)

http://www.last.fm/music/Nelly/_/Hot+in+Herre

Awwwwww! Baby Justin!

I was the luckiest 10-year-old in the world. My aunt and uncle worked in a recording studio and got me this for Christmas:

Yup, N Sync autographed picture. I'm wondering if this is worth anything and if I can sell it. People can tell that it's real somehow, right? I mean the kind of people who would buy autographed stuff. Little Justin is so cute :)

Medieval crimes

1) Me wearing an old shirt of my mother's (manufactured circa 1970)

2) My exposed midriff

3) Making stoners dress up like kings to pose with middle school kids

Blame Canada

I made this on a trip to Canada:

In case you can't tell what it is, it's a copper foil smurf. I hate to admit that I threw out this relic. Perhaps I should have saved it for although it's not really art, it certainly is a creative concept.

Friend girl for life

Searching through an endless pile of birthday cards, I stumbled upon this:

It's from a boy who was in my kindergarten class. "Love: no, Friendship: sure" Not only that, but love is put in the same deadly cross that's given to cigarettes in "No Smoking" signs. As it turns out, I was always and will forever be a friend girl.

Calling all hipsters in search of irony!

Of course, I'm sure any hardcore hipster would already have one of these (perhaps their own). This brownie vest, complete with flair, now comes to just beneath mein titties.

As you can see, I lost interest as I moved up in rank. Note the lack of patches. I would put up a shot of the backside, but it would be too clear a visual representation of my failures *sob*

all that fits in a crawl space

The summer has been relatively dull so far. There are exceptions of course: David Byrne show in Prospect Park, visiting my boyfriend, getting a new job. But on the whole, I needed something else to do. What better to do when you're bored but clean! Yay! And by clean I mean, of course, going through boxes of old memories. So here they are! I'll put up the most interesting and the funniest. Then maybe we'll dig through someone else's attic :)